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Shyness
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Shyness is a common but little understood emotion. Everyone has felt ambivalent or self-conscious in new social situations. Children are shy in different ways for different reasons. However, at times shyness may interfere with optimal social development and restrict children's learning. Shyness can be painful for both parents and children. Parents ... need to realize some kids are just born to be quiet and less outgoing than other children are.
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Shyness can be a lifelong problem. When social anxiety is intense and persistent, it limits your life experiences and opportunities for growth. It holds people back from pursuing careers they would be well qualified for. Shyness can block attempts at creating friendships and intimate relationships. Even when you know your fear is excessive and unrealistic, it may continue to bother you. Ultimately, severe shyness can lead to isolation, loneliness, and depression.
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Shyness can vary from mild feelings to moderately uncomfortable in social circumstances to debilitating levels of anxiety that interfere in children with the process of socialization (social withdrawal). Shyness is a personality trait that affects a child's temperament. Some infants are born shy and more sensitive. Some of them are quiet when new people enter a room. A shy baby might sink his head into his mother's shoulder, while a baby who is outgoing might smile or squeal with delight when someone new visits. Some children may feel shy in certain situations, like when meeting new people.
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Shyness first appears around the first birthday, when the capacity to experience fear to discrepant events matures. During the first year or two children raised under most family circumstances who are extremely shy behave this way because of a temperamental bias to react with withdrawal to unfamiliar events. When the unfamiliar event is meeting a stranger, the child is called shy. However, as children grow, other reasons for shyness emerge and many five and six-year-old children can show shyness without any special temperamental predisposition. Some children are shy because they feel that they are physically unattractive, others are shy because they have failed to attain proper achievement levels in school, and other children are shy because of shame over aspects of their family, including poverty or mental illness.
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Shyness, or the feeling of discomfort when faced with a social situation, is far more common than most people realize. It has been estimated that close to half of all Americans consider themselves to be shy. Just about everyone has probably been shy at some point. Almost no one feels entirely comfortable during their first day in a new school where they may know few of the people in their classes. And most people feel unsettled when they are in a room full of strangers.
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In the Chapter, Shyness of The Mind, Carducci discusses how shy people think about themselves and their shyness. In particular, shy people tend to have a pessimistic attributional style, where they view awkward social encounters as being their fault. Further, they attribute failing to their own ingrained, personal flaws. Successful personal encounters tend to be attributed to luck, the social skills of the other person, or some other external factor beyond the shy person's control. How you label and interpret encounters affects how you feel about them and how they will affect your future behavior.
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Shyness