LYCOS RETRIEVER 
Gay Parents: Children
built 291 days ago
Gay and lesbian adoptive parents must ... think about how they will explain to younger children, in age-appropriate language, not only how and why the child was adopted but also about the parents' sexual orientation. Both are complex subjects that should be addressed a number of times as the child grows and matures, each time adding new information as the child asks and is able to absorb and understand more. Then both topics become accepted facts of family life.
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Gay parents aren't something new – they are already out there and have been for some time. Some gay men and women had children when they were in previous heterosexual relationships but a growing number of gay couples are now choosing to start a family together.
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The law varies in regards to gay parents depending on the country you live in and the individual state. Adoption by same-sex couples is completely legal in Guam, Andorra, Belgium, Canada, England and Wales, Iceland, the Netherlands, Sweden, South Africa, and Spain. Some countries and some US states won't let same-sex couples adopt, but many will. In the US, Florida is the only state that completely prohibits adoption by same-sex couples but Mississippi, Oklahoma, Colorado and Utah all make adoption by same-sex couples impossible by only allowing married couples to adopt - and gay marriage is illegal in those states. The American Psychological Association supports adoption by same-sex couples as do many academic bodies, who say that there is strong data that children raised by gay couples are no different than those who are raised by straight couples.
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"Discrimination against gays is indeed unjust; it is wrong for an adoption agency to refuse to help a gay couple adopt a child when they meet all other tests for qualified parents. But the leaders of the Catholic church not only disagree, as a great many private citizens no doubt disagree. They ... believe that it would be unconscionable for them, a sin against cardinal tenets of their faith, to hand a child in their care to gay parents. True, Catholics are not forced to run adoption agencies. But requiring them to choose between abandoning a historical mission of charity, in which they have contributed much benefit, and acting as they believe their faith forbids, does place them in a position in which they think their duty is compromised however they choose. It also diminishes the chances of abandoned children finding a stable home: the Catholic agencies, by all reports, have been among the most conscientious and successful."
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The second set of studies looked at gender identity and sexual orientation of children raised by gay parents. None of the several hundred children studied evidenced gender identity confusion, desired to be of the other sex or consistently engaged in cross-gender behavior. In addition, no differences were found in the toy, game, activity, dress or friendship preferences of boys or girls. The third research area covers the emotional and social development of children. Again, no differences were found in the personality measures, peer group relationships, self-esteem, behavioral difficulties, academic success or quality of family relationships.
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Lesbian and gay parents face the same child rearing challenges as other parents although some issues are unique. Lesbian and gay parents, for example, must make choices about being honest and discussing their sexuality with their children and other care providers, such as teachers, other parents, or doctors. An important decision for some lesbian couples when choosing pregnancy is who will be the biological mother. Studies continually show... that the children raised in gay and lesbian homes are healthy and well adjusted (Riedman, 1995). It is these kind of findings that are often ignored when the legal issues discussed above are addressed.
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