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Chuck Norris: Roundhouse Kicks
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Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
Chuck norris originally had a twin brother. Unfortunately chuck norris is incapable of loving anyone but chuck norris, so he swiftly roundhouse kicked his brother to death while in the womb. He even managed to plant evidence that his mother had caused the premature death.
Chuck Norris challenged Lance Armstrong to a bike race. When he lost, he just roundhouse kicked Armstrong, which broke Lance's neck of course, and took his metal. To this very day, no one has ever beaten Chuck Norris at anything and lived to tell the story.
Chuck Norris once threated to sue Burger King because they refused to make it his way. When asked what "his way" detailed, he replied: "with barbed wire and nails, of course". He then roundhouse kicked the reporter for even asking.
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The crew of Apollo 13 would never had made it back to Earth had NASA not sent a then-young Chuck Norris to bring their sticken craft back with a well placed roundhouse kick. Years later, NASA asked Chuck to help out again with a launch. That's what really caused the Challenger disaster.
The story of how the first rino was born started with Chuck Norris having sex with a pack of wild hippos. Soon after he began to roundhouse kick them all in the face.
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