LYCOS RETRIEVER 
Bruce Lee: Chuck Norris
built 634 days ago
Bruce Lee is one of only two men that can defeat Chuck Norris in hand-to-hand combat. The only other man who can defeat Chuck is, of course, Stephen Colbert. Bruce put to shame the abnormally hairy Chuck in "Return of the Dragon" with his god-like martial arts skills. Bruce Lee is ... the founder of the world's most amazing martial arts system, Jeet Kune Do. Also, in 1997 he founded Christianity. Which is amazing since he died in 1973.
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As powerful as Bruce Lee is, it has been said that the only thing capable of defeating him is the incredible destructive power of a head-butt from Kerry King. Kerry King would never try it because the impact would destroy the Universe, Time, Metallica, Space, and fuzzy bunnies, leaving only Green Day because they are so gay Bruce felt sorry for them. and Dave Mustaine alive. In fact when it did happen the only thing that saved us was a Chuck Norris round-house kick and one of his tears, which with it's combined power caused time travel (It was the only time Chuck Norris cried, Green Day and Mustaine being the only ones alive saw this causing Mustaine to be a whiny bitch and Green Day to have whiny bitchy songs)
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Bruce Lee first met Chuck Norris at the 1964 Ed Parker International Karate Championships. The two went on to become not only good friends, but ... world famous martial arts superstars. Chuck Norris was a highly established Karate Champion. Between 1964 and 1968 he won numerous titles including the Professional World Middleweight Karate Champion. In 1969 he was named "Fighter of the Year" by Black Belt magazine.
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James Yimm Lee, a close friend of Bruce Lee, died without certifying additional students. Taky Kimura, to date, has certified one person in Jun Fan Gung Fu: his son and heir Andy Kimura. Dan Inosanto continues to teach and certify select students. Prior to his death, Lee told his then only two living instructors Inosanto and Kimura (James Yimm Lee had died in 1972) to dismantle his schools. Both Taky Kimura and Dan Inosanto were allowed to teach small classes thereafter without using the name Jeet Kune Do. Bruce ... instructed several World Karate Champions including Chuck Norris, Joe Lewis, and Mike Stone.
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Since the death of Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris has further established himself as a martial arts film superstar. He has received many awards for not only his acting, but ... his work as a film stuntman. In 1990 Chuck Norris founded the Kick Drugs out of America organisation and since then he has spent a great deal of his time battling against drugs and violence in schools.
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Bruce Lee is currently the most powerful being in the universe, stfu to Chuck Norris and Mr.T. He is the inventor of the Kamehameha wave, which he once used to blast a hole in the Earth so he could take a dump. The shockwave of the Kamehameha obliterated the dinosaurs, leaving their bones, which scientists today call "fossils."
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