Relationships go bad because one or both people loose their focus on Jesus in the relationship. When this happens selfishness takes over, instead of caring about the benefit of God and the other person. (James 4:1-3 NIV) What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? {2} You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight.